Nothing Like A Mother's Love...

Question: Critically analyze Paul’s relationship with women pointing out why one or the other succeeds where as another failed. 

In the novel, Sons and Lovers authored by D. H. Lawrence, the second son of Mr. and Mrs. Morel, Paul experiences dysfunctional romantic relationships with women that subsequently fail. Paul, much like his brother, develops and unnatural bond with their mother, seeing in her the ‘ideal’ woman in whom “Nothing she ever did, no movement she ever made, could have been found fault by her children.” (Chap. 4, pg. 63). This deep-seated dependency from Paul onto his mother spilled over into his relationships with both Miriam and Clara.

Paul’s relationship with his mother as a child mirrored that of Williams but was somewhat more intense and fevered with dependency. This dependency was encouraged by Paul’s sickly nature, having being induced with bronchitis, concreted his belief that “The warmth, the security and peace of soul, the utter comfort from the touch of the other… takes the body and soul completely into its healing” (Chap. 4, pg 64). The love for his mother seemingly laid the foundation upon which Paul lived his life.

Miriam was Paul’s first encounter in a romantic relationship. He found in her characteristics that were admirable such has their common love of nature, her beauty and her sensitivity. However, as the relationship between them grew stronger, Paul found himself despising Miriam for becoming intimate with him that caused his mother to hurt. At one point, Paul found the need to shorten the time his spent with Miriam such that it did not displease his mother. Eventually, the relationship between Paul and Miriam withered away due to her overly sensitive and urge to not be tied down with a commitment to Paul.

Later on, Paul encountered a village girl by the name of Clara, whom he fancied and subsequently engaged in a physical relationship with. Clara, having been married once before, was preoccupied with the strong feelings she still held for her husband. Although she had no children, was not interested with being laden by a relationship with Paul.

In conclusion, the failures with Paul’s romantic relationships with women failed not because they both had shortcomings but because he simply could not afford to have someone else replace his mother. His love and affection was vested into one woman, Mrs. Morel and no one else.